Patton Oswalt Quotes
"I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Time, Now, Right)
"I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Romance)
"Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Funny, Hate, Years)
"It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Being, Country, Now, Right)
"If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Gold)
"I'm not familiar with the metric system."
- Patton Oswalt
"90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Art, Music, Dance, Focus, Painting)
"I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Art, Time, Beginning)
"I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Death, Comedians)
"I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Being, Comedians, Comedy)
"I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you."
- Patton Oswalt
"I hate all sidekicks."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Hate)
"George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Difference, Evil)
"I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything."
- Patton Oswalt
(Related: Fact, Want, Writer, Writing)