Spike Milligan Quotes


"I'm a hero with coward's legs."
- Spike Milligan
"I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Dying, Want)

"Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Order)

"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Marriage, Want)

"It's all in the mind, you know."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Mind)

"My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Father, Influence)

"Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Happiness, Money, Misery)

"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Army)

"I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Singing, Years)

"Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Money, Class, Enemy, Friends)

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Cure)

"I can speak Esperanto like a native."
- Spike Milligan
"For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Years)

"Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion."
- Spike Milligan
"Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?"
- Spike Milligan
"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: God, Electricity, Light)

"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Money, Chance)

"I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Body, Old)

"I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it."
- Spike Milligan
(Related: Right)