Tom Lehrer Quotes


"It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Age, Thought, Years)

"When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Food, Sex)

"Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Work, Company, Problems, Worth)

"The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Ability, American, Army, Discrimination, Race)

"On my income tax 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Blind, Tax, Income)

"Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Life)

"Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Life, Play)

"It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Age)

"Bad weather always looks worse through a window."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Weather)

"If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it."
- Tom Lehrer
"Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Play)

"In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'"
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Now, Words, Youth)

"Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Deeds)

"Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your ."
- Tom Lehrer
"I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Problems)

"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: People, Trouble)

"An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent."
- Tom Lehrer
(Related: Talent, Ego)