Andy Rooney Quotes

"Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: People, End, Rest, Teachers)

"Nothing in fine print is ever good news."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: News, Nothing)

"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: People, Boys, Dumb, Want)

"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Truth, People, Facts, Will)

"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: People, Tax, President, Taxes)

"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Chance, Right, Wrong)

"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Business, Men, Army, Man)

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
- Andy Rooney

"The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means."
- Andy Rooney

"The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: People, Politicians)

"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Time, Kids, Worth)

"When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Want)

"The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Careers, Musicians, professionals, World)

"As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: First, Old, Secrets)

"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Meaning, Old, Word)

"We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Feeling, Mistakes)

"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Purpose, America, Computer, First, Giving, Sense)

"The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Comfort, Privacy, Terror)

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Computers)

"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Computers, Time, May, Waste)

"Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Golf, Television)

"If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Smile)

"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Death, Rumor)

"Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head."
- Andy Rooney

"Elephants and grandchildren never forget."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Forget)

"Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Ballet, Hurt, Television)

"Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Happiness, Life)

"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Food, Time, Cooking, Painting)

"I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me."
- Andy Rooney

"I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?"
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Government, Help, Want)

"I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Government, Money, Hope, Mail, Want)

"I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Sales)

"I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Time, Eyes)

"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Dogs, Fun, Talk)

"All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Men, Law)

"I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you."
- Andy Rooney
(Related: Purpose, Old)