Dave Attell Quotes

"What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin."
- Dave Attell
(Related: Fish)

"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!"
- Dave Attell
(Related: People, Choice, Driving, Kids)

"You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike."
- Dave Attell
(Related: Men, Women, Fire)