Elayne Boosler Quotes
"You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot."
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: Man, Walking, Woman)
"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?"
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: Money, Giving, Television)
"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: Men, Women, Country, Thinking)
"I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me."
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: People, Wrong)
"To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy."
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: Comedy, Key, Silence)
"Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?"
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: Party)
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
- Elayne Boosler
"I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body."
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: Body, Woman)
"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: Men, Wilderness, Years)
"When the sun comes up, I have morals again."
- Elayne Boosler
(Related: Morals, Sun)