Jimmy Kimmel Quotes

"That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't."
- Jimmy Kimmel
(Related: Funny, Boss, Authority)

"I'm a terrible golfer."
- Jimmy Kimmel

"There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives."
- Jimmy Kimmel
(Related: Temple, Mystery, Reality, Trying, Veterans, Wives)

"I only get unusual ailments."
- Jimmy Kimmel

"I have like fifteen televisions in my house."
- Jimmy Kimmel

"Almost every week, someone's mad at me."
- Jimmy Kimmel

"It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up."
- Jimmy Kimmel
(Related: Funny, Now, Popular, Pretty, School, states, United, Want)