Joe E. Lewis Quotes
"I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise."
- Joe E. Lewis
"I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Man, Martin)
"Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Money, Man, Will)
"Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Feet, Man)
"Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Friend)
"It pays to get drunk with the best people."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: People)
"It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Money, Poor)
"If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Friend, Man, Want)
"There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Money, Poverty)
"I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Girls)
"They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Day)
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Diet)
"I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Play)
"I drink to forget I drink."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Forget)
"I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Money, Nerves)
"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Distrust)
"Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Time, Genius, People, Right, Saying, Wrong)
"A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Man)
"I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Losing)
"We can afford almost any mistake once."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Mistake)
"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Want, Water)
"You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Work, Right)
"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Work, Right)
"The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love."
- Joe E. Lewis
(Related: Love, Taxes)