Ryan Stiles Quotes
"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Confession)
"When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Love, May)
"What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Chess, Earth)
"The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Sky)
"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: America, Dancing, First, Living)
"That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy."
- Ryan Stiles
"Never trust sheep."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Trust, Sheep)
"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Eating)
"I look like Walt Disney just threw up."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Disney)
"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Man)
"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Control, Accident)
"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Car, Road)
"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Home, Time)
"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: President, states, United)
"If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Rap)
"If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!"
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Man)
"If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife."
- Ryan Stiles
(Related: Wife, Man, Woman)
"Back off or the lizard gets it!"
- Ryan Stiles