Ron White Quotes
"You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered."
- Ron White
(Related: Truth)
"You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out."
- Ron White
(Related: First, Jokes, Years)
"There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong."
- Ron White
(Related: Diet, Beer, Wrong, Years)
"There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years."
- Ron White
(Related: Life, Vices, Years)
"The next time you have a thought... let it go."
- Ron White
(Related: Time, Thought)
"The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off."
- Ron White
(Related: Thought, America)
"People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic."
- Ron White
(Related: Work, People, Saying)
"Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane."
- Ron White
(Related: Death, states, Trying)
"My goal is just to become a better comedian."
- Ron White
(Related: Goal)
"I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em."
- Ron White
"I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers."
- Ron White
"I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability."
- Ron White
(Related: Ability, Right)
"I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling."
- Ron White
(Related: Traveling)
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
- Ron White
(Related: Life, Lemons, Party)
"But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever."
- Ron White
(Related: Work, Exercise, Now, Writer)
"Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin."
- Ron White
(Related: Skin, Want)
"Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!"
- Ron White
"I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine."
- Ron White
"I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow."
- Ron White
(Related: Today, Tomorrow)