Billy Connolly Quotes
"There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: June, Seasons, Winter)
"The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards."
- Billy Connolly
"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: God, People, Angels, Trouble, Want)
"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Imagination)
"My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Pet, Parents)
"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Thinking)
"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Marriage)
"It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: God, Christianity, Islam, Judaism)
"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Trust, Man, Tea)
"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"
- Billy Connolly
(Related: First, Name)
"I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Army)
"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: People, Pretty, Want, World)
"I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place."
- Billy Connolly
"I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Love)
"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Word)
"I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there."
- Billy Connolly
"I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Angels, Space, Wind)
"Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: Being, Fame)
"Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint."
- Billy Connolly
"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered."
- Billy Connolly
(Related: People, Dogs)