Milton Berle Quotes

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
- Milton Berle
(Related: Opportunity)

"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight."
- Milton Berle
(Related: Television)

"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring."
- Milton Berle
(Related: Company)

"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient."
- Milton Berle
(Related: Disgrace, Poverty)

"Laughter is an instant vacation."
- Milton Berle
(Related: Laughter, Vacation)

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
- Milton Berle
(Related: Evolution, Mothers)

"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are."
- Milton Berle

"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live."
- Milton Berle

"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?"
- Milton Berle
(Related: Tax, Income)

"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
- Milton Berle
(Related: Experience, Name)

"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours."
- Milton Berle
(Related: Committee)

"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
- Milton Berle
(Related: Congress, Man)

"Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies."
- Milton Berle